. The way these men were all fucking each other the whole time

Raw

Thank you Jorts

do you perchance have any pictures of the thing on garage, also for science?

the first pic on the upper left is what’s on the garage, and to be clear it’s literally set up shop on the lining above the garage. like. metal siding material. it sprang up really quick and is shedding spores everywhere, so my (kinda hopeful) guess is that it’s Stemonitis, the chocolate tube slime mold, which forms something that kinda looks like this when it gathers itself up to fruit, and if it’s a slime mold it would explain how the hell it managed to annex a shallow vertical dent in a piece of siding around 10-12 feet off the ground. if it’s a chocolate tube slime, it’ll have a preference for rotting wood and stuff, meaning that it might have come from the mulch next to the garage, but like. wow, that’s a long way to crawl. i could see the logic of a collection of a few thousand brain cells deciding to get somewhere high up to Nut tho lmao

anyway. those are my thoughts about what alien appendage possibly be Nutting above our garage but as of now it’s still a mystery

t-they can CRAWL???

yes.

some notes about this video:

1. the slime theyre studying is called physarum, which is kind of the go-to genus for studying slime molds. that being said, there are about 700 species of these dudes known to science. they’re typically detrivores that crawl around on the forest floor looking for rotting stuff and bacteria to eat.

2. the thing on my garage wouldnt have looked like that while it was crawling around; slime molds have stages where they crawl around and eat and stages where they get together to change their bodily shape into reproductive structures/fruiting bodies that give off spores. the thing above my garage would be the fruiting body part of the life cycle

3. when they talk about slime mold intelligence, that’s 100% a thing. slime mold computers, where you train a slime mold to carry out simple calculations, are a really interesting theoretical type of bio computer thats being researched (look up ‘physarum computers’), purely because they do whats in the video where they stretch themselves out and pick a direction to go in to find food, which theoretically is a thing that needs a certain amount of memory and ‘intellegence’ in the decision-making sense to carry out. they can solve mazes and stuff like that, too

4. ‘is it a fungus, a plant, or an animal??’ good question. it is vibing, is what it is. physiologically it’s a single-celled sac of nuclei in most cases. the scientific family name is ‘myxomycetes’, so like, theres that. that being said, mycologists (people who study fungi) have studied them the most, but like seriously, they’re vibing

@jewggalos

me, attacking the bush honeysuckle and wintercreeper in my back yard: rip tear shred tear kill maim slaughter

are plant assassin guilds a thing

i dont blame the person living here because these guys can come up pretty quickly and it’s possible they just didnt see it, especially because the area around it seems otherwise free of clues suggesting their mighty presence, but like….at what point do you just accept their annexation….how big does a newly-emerged mushroom have to be to claim squatters’ rights on a stretch of drywall

How the fuck did berkeley’s polypore grow in this house????

Looking it up BP is a hardwood fungus so it might be coming from the floor. Whatever it is, it busted such a fat fungal nut that it’s impossible to tell if that’s hardwood or tile

you dont get “fat fungal nut” anywhere else but tumblr